tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC September 27, 2012 12:00am-1:05am EDT
isn't in book stores until tomorrow already shot to number one on amazon.com. good night. i'll be back tomorrow with more. good night, america. up next on an all new "jimmy kimmel live." >> this weekend is armageddon 2. keanu reeves. >> to film something and have that exist. >> jimmy: you lost me about 2 minutes ago. >> jennifer goodwin. minutes ago. >[ female announcer ] dear daughter, welcome to america.
ur share of obama's debt is over 50 thousand dollars, and it grows every day. obama's policies are making it harder on women. the poverty rate for women -- the highest in 17 years. more women are unemployed unr president obobama. more than five and a half millllion womn can't find work. that's what obama's policies have done for women. welcome, daughter. [ romney ] i'm mitt romney and i approve this message.
hi, there, i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thanks all of you for coming out tonight. it's about time you came out. do we have anyone in our studio audience that has unusual body piercings? anything weird? good, good. i'm glad. i don't care for it personally. there's a new thing happening in japan. it's called bagel head. have you heard about bagel head? some japanese people are pumping sa saline into their forehead and putting a dent into it to make it look like there's a dent in their head. there's three people getting their head killed with saline. it's a three-hour procedure, and
another hour to attach the poppy seeds. honestly, how did they come up with this idea? you know what would be cool? if my forehead looked like it had a bagel in it. the national taboo ran a segment. it's not for your faint of heart. >> once it's swollen you take your thumb and make the indentation in the middle. that's the part that becomes the climax, finish of the bagel head process. >> remember when japanese people used to be smarter than us? the state of california this week became the third u.s. state to olegalize the use of self-driving cars. the governor signed the bill into law. google has been working on a driverless car system for a long
time. but they still haven't figured out how to get -- maybe if they didn't get so much time revamping their logo for every dumb holiday they could wo have this done. google said they're safer than regular scacars they remove hum error. some google employees are using them to go to work. they have kings to work out. but you get the idea. i guess some of you know this is called the carmageddon. last year they shut the freeway down. to shut down the mulholland bridge. there wasn't a car op the road la last year.
except for me. even our construction projects have secrets. the mayor is advising us to stay home. with the most boring video. >> hello, karca carmageddon wil happen again. people stayed home, discover their neighborhoods, road their bikes and took of took public transit. it turns carmaggedon to -- >> did you see what he did
there? we need to make a video with more chris ma. >> my name is guillermo. i'm here to tell you about carmageddondos. instead of driving. stay home and make sex with your lover. making sex is very nice. if you make sex, maybe you make a baby too. babies are nice. remember, get off the road. >> jimmy: that's guillermo's real son, by the way? how old is he, guillermo? >> nine months. >> jimmy: what are you feeding him? may wait, let me ask you a different
question. what aren't you feeding him? >> everything. >> jimmy: there's a new show coming to country music television. or cmt. they ordered new shows stars dog the mounty hunter. they called them the best bounty hunters in the world. as if he knows. when they're not tracking criminals. dog and his wife will be looking for the best deals on wrap-around sunglasses. cmt is already promoting the show. >> dog the bounty hunter is back. dog and his wife hunt the biggest dog of them all. randy jackson. >> dog. only on cmt.
>> woof! >> jimmy: this is a dating show, they made it for the internet called "the mormon bachelor" it's in their forth season. it's based on "the bachelor." there's no sex, drinking -- the producer said they made it because they want to clear up common misconceptions about mormons. what way to do that than a show about one mandating multiple women at once. meanwhile romney released an ad which he speaks to the camera. all of the other ads you don't see him. this one is mitt in front of a camera talking. a lot of people wonder why it took so long to do this. the ad is too many americans. the goal is to show romney does
indeed care about americans that are struggling. he does a good job with it. too many americans are struggling to find work in today's economy. too many of those working are living paycheck to paycheck. more americans are living in poverty than when president obama took office. 15 million more are on food stamps. my job creates 12 million jobs over the next four year. we shouldn't measure compassion by how many people are on welfare, we should measure compassion on how many people able to get a good paying job. i'm mitt romney and i approve this message. >> he cracked it himself. carrie underwood was at a concert in louisville. there was a kid in the audience, holding a sign that said will you be my first kiss?
she pulled him on stage. here's what happened. >> 12 years old. >> you got a jump on me. i was 14 when i had my very first kiss. just so you know my husband is somewhere in this building, might be looking for you later. >> how are we going do this? >> lip to lip. >> this is the smartest kid ever! >> close your eyes. >> jimmy: he went for lips. let's show this that video. my research and development team invented a highly advanced device called youtube time machine. we can put any youtube video in the machine and will show you what happens in the future. let's put it in and show that
kid in the year 2070. >> who wants to give daddy a kiss, lip to lip. yeah! >> hey, who wants to give daddy -- >> all right! >> who wants to give daddy a kiss, lip to lip? >> jimmy: still not even in the top ten. we have an interactive game we played with our viewers from time to time. we thought it would be fun to play with students from rival colleges. we have students and pitting them against each other. it's time for a special rifle college edition of the skype scavenger hunt. our first game comes to us from one of two universities i did not graduate from. please welcome chris and tim from z arizona state. tempe, arizona. boy, you have a dog and everything. what's your dog's name?
>> dodger. >> jimmy: dodger. okay. are you from l.a.? >> l.a. for life. >> jimmy: i got you. what are you studding? >> i study electrical engineering, i'm chris by the way. >> engineering management, i'm tim. >> jimmy: how did you meet and become roommates? >> we were at huntington beach at a party. this guy got impressed with my drinking skills. >> sweet beer bong. >> jimmy: all right. chris and tim you're playing against our most bitter rival from the university of arizona in tucson. please welcome d.j. and jake. there they are. showing school spirit. what year are you guys? >> we're both juniors. >> jimmy: and what is your major? >> i'm pre law. >> i'm marketing. >> jimmy: very good. what do you like to do for fun? are you drinkers? >> we casually drink. it doesn't define us
necessarily. we like to play sports, hang out with friends, make videos. normal stuff. >> jimmy: do you like each other's schools? we'll give this question to both teams. do you like arizona state d.j. and jake? >> not at all. >> jimmy: chris and tim, how do you feel about arizona? >> they're pretty useless. i'm from tuscon. >> jimmy: there's no love lost. i went to asu. kourtney kardashian went to u of a. okay? thank you. all right. the rules of the game are very simple. it's scavenger hunt, i'll ask you to find something or did do it. are you ready to play? >> yeah. >> jimmy: i might be bias. if there's a question i'll refer to judge guillermo. guillermo your ruling is final. >> all right. first up. bring back something you stole.
something you've stolen. the more valuable, the better. seems like we're thinking about. don't worry, the police never watch this show. okay. >> i've been wanting to out somebody as a felon on television. 5-mile-an-hour speed limit sign and chris and tim, i've got -- a beer funnel. all right. chris and tim, where did you steel that from? >> this is my 20th birthday, a kid left it -- i took it with college with me. >> jimmy: not stolen. d.j. and jake, where did you get that? >> i stole this from the parking lot next to my apartment. why do you need a speed limit sign for 5 miles per hour? >> jimmy: all right. that round goes to d.j. and
jake. round two come back with the most stereo typical college food item that you have in your place. i use the term "food" very loosely, as long as it's edible and the dog doesn't count. check under the bathroom, in the bed. sometimes in the refrigerator too. chris and tim are bringing it back. what do you have? >> ham and cheese hot pockets. >> jimmy: d.j. and jake, three kinds of peanut butter? what kind is that? organic peanut butter? >> we have organic peanut butter. >> jimmy: that's what your mom forces you to eat. we'll give that to tim and jake, hot pockets. we're even up right now. all right. our next challenge, bring back something you've been hiding from your roommate.
you have the wildcat mascot wantedering through. i wonder if they captured him too. extra point if it's his girlfriend. bonus point if it causes him to move out of the apartment. all right. well looks like chris and tim are moving slowly there. oh, wow. okay. all right. tim, what do you have there? >> this is a onescy. all right. chris, what do you have? >> it's a shirt i stole from tim. >> jimmy: another stolen item. d.j., what are you wearing on your head? >> this -- i don't even know what to call this. but i thought from jake's brother back in l.a. and he didn't know i took it. >> jimmy: jake, did you know he stole that? all right. i'm going to have to call this a
tie. we're tied up. you know what we'll do, well' take a break and when we come back he well' break this tie. are you in your apartments right now? >> yeah. >> stay right there. we'll bring out keanu reeves and maybe he'll help us with this. >> we have a good show. ginnifer goodwin is here, we have music from hot chip, and we'll be right back with keanu reeves, so stick around. [ cranking ] [ thunder crashes ] [ electricity buzzing ] [ buzzing continues ] [ crackling ] [ whines ] sparky! you're alive! [ male announcer ] bring your creation to life at subway®. yes yes, i'll have the mustard, and cucumbers, no, no, jalapenos! [ male announcer ] experiment with whatever you love from jalapenos to honey mustard.
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and then, with music from this album, "in our heads," hot chip from the bud light stage. is their second appearance on the show. make sure to watch us tomorrow night as well, and join us here in hollywood this weekend for our 11th annual feast of san gennaro. it's an italian food festival we put on every year. that goes on behind our theater. we close down the streets. it's a big charity event. the kids will love it and you eat a lot of ziti. there's rides and the whole thing. so come by and say hello. our guests tomorrow night will be selena gomez, from the new abc show "the neighbors," lenny venito, and we'll have music from the great and powerful tony bennett. so, join us then. our first guest has starred in movies that have earned more than three and a half billion dollars. his name means "cool breeze over the mountains" in hawaiian and he knows kung-fu. he's a cool individual. he's the producer and narrator of a new documentary called "side by side" which is playing in select city and on demand. please say hello to keanu reeves. [ cheers and applause ]
>> jimmy: welcome. you look the same as you did 20 years ago. >> i don't feel the same. >> jimmy: older and wiser? >> older and wiser and all that stuff. >> jimmy: i know you were china for a long time? >> i was in china making a kung fu movie for nine months. >> jimmy: that's a long time to be away from home? >> it is. >> jimmy: you directed this? >> it is. >> you star in this movie? >> i'm the villain. >> jimmy: i don't want to say anything but the villain loses. if i directed every movie i would win the fight. >> i'd win, get the girl -- >> jimmy: exactly.
punching and humping -- >> in 3d. >> jimmy: what is the name of the movie? >> "men of taichai." >> jimmy: you really studied? >> no. real kung fu can tell you, movie kung fu, no. >> jimmy: i enjoyed this documentary you made. for people that are really into movies and movie-making, it's pretty amazing. you got some of the biggest directors in the world on this thing. >> i did. they were they kind. it's something that is impacting, you know, what we do to story telling, how we watch movies, make movies. so it brings about a lot of passion. people wanted to kind of speak about that and share it. you know, how their art is changing. how they make art is changing. basically, it's 100 years of
photo chemical film making might disappear, the end of film. i was stuck on this expedition to find out why, how, the impact of digital and -- >> jimmy: film making shouldn't be called film making for the most part -- >> it's still making movies but physicality, film, photo chemical film is disappear. >> jimmy: are you disagainst that? did you make your movie on film? >> no, i shot digitally. but when i started on was on the film side. but the director was more on the digit digital. he said look what we're gaining, and he was like, this is what we're losing. that's kind of why we called it side by side. traditional film making and digital, you know, we started with -- we had -- started with digital sound, digital editing.
>> nobody talked about digital sound. digital sound nobody has a problem with. >> not really. but when it came to the camera that was the last piece. digital camera. when it started to enter into the hollywood level, sim naing to fecinemaing to fehrs, they s use this film. and since we started the documentary, late summer of 2010, thousand things have changed. but the idea of what we're losing is events. >> jimmy: i say out with it. >> out with film. >> jimmy: you know why? you see people and everybody got a digital camera now. every once in a while, if ir'taking a picture, they hand you one of those wind-up cameras and what the hell is this? what happened with your life
that you're still using that? >> then what happens, they go and get that picture processed and you'll have that picture, maybe in 50 years with all of its grain, and it exists, then you have your digital picture -- where is the digital picture -- >> jimmy: it's something call aid printer. >> yes. >> jimmy: i have one updares. i'll show it to you if you want. >> just going into the include. into the computer. so that -- this is one of the things. the idea of the materialality. the idea of having -- where is that picture box. where is the idea of the materiality of things. so when you're filming something, you have that exist. there it is. >> jimmy: you lost me about two minutes ago. i am not that bright.
i can't follow materialality and stuff. >> what you're doing right now, you're touching a book. >> jimmy: i am touching a book. you're holding a book. you're old-fashioned. >> jimmy: do you have a cell phone or trail that big cord around? >> i actually have a big long piece of string. hello kathmandu. >>. >> jimmy: you wrote a book of poetry -- actually a book of poem. s it there's one poem in here. who did the artwork for this? >> a woman named alexandra grant. >> jimmy: it's very interesting. how did you find her? someone you knew? >> yeah. you want? >> i did the text. alexandra did the artwork. >> jimmy: who bound it? >> a company called stidle.
>> jimmy: you're not kidding around. >> it's like a grown-up children's book. how to survive melancholy and depression. >> jimmy: do you think people survive it at the end of it? >> no, but it will help you laugh. you'll feel better after reading this book. >> jimmy: i almost forgot about our guys. i don't know if you're for this. are you in favor of skype? or against that? >> skype is wonderful. >> jimmy: let's take a quick break here. keanu reeves is with us. when we come back we'll finish the skype scavengerer hunt. we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ you've got to be kidding me. sweetie, help us settle this. i say this and this
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anymore on screen. >> you're presenting complete unreality and making them feel as it's real. before it was captured in reality -- >> i'm betting you've been 0 on a couple of movie sets. when was it ever real? there was 30 people standing around. another guy on a boom mike. another on a ladder with his ass crack hanging out. your street was a day interior burbank? what was ever real? >> jimmy: the movie is called "side by side" is currently on demand and in select cities nationwide. did you get the directors you wanted? >> no. christopher cohen -- >> jimmy: there's a weird defensiveness with a guy that
uses deej tal media, isn't there? >> defensiveness? no. george lucas -- no. they talk about -- cameron talks about being free. talks about the possibilities of digital, you know. >> jimmy: kids making youtube movies, anyone with make a movie now. i wish i had that when i was a kid. i would probably be you right now instead of me sitting here. >> no, no. >> jimmy: speaking of kids, these guys said they make movies. d.j. and jake, chris and tim. hey, guys, how are you holding up? everybody all right? >> yeah. good. >> jimmy: we're tied right now. we're playing the skype scavenger hunt. what should we ask them to -- >> what is the dog doing? >> jimmy: that's what he's asking too. what's going on? >> what i would like you to do
right now, this is simple, switch pants and whoever switches pants most quickly wins. all right? come on, guys, switch pants. >> you know what -- where are they going? >> what do you mean where are they zbhoeg they're not going to be on skype -- >> hey, jimmy, no problem. hey. >> jimmy: look at that, d.j. and jake. >> how do you know they even -- >> jimmy: i don't knee if they're changing into tuxedos -- they're wearing the same shirt. >> you guys got -- >> jimmy: chris and tim, where did you go? >> i am fbi -- >> jimmy: listen. you know what you'll both win a prize. each ware of roommates got a
skype enabled tv. dicky, tell them what they won. find out more at skype.com. >> jimmy: hey, guys, guy, did you see keanu reeves via skype. >> high, keanu. >> jimmy: anything you want to ask him? >> yeah, why did you take the red pills? >> because i wanted to know the truth. >> jimmy: that's all we can ask is for the truth. "side by side" is currently on demand and in select cities right now. we'll be right back with ginnifer goodwin. ♪ i'm freaking out man. why? i thought jill was your soul mate.
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>> jimmy: our next guest is a real disney princess, not one of the imposters you see in the park. she and her seven little friends are back to play snow white in "once upon a time," which returns to abc sunday night at 8:00 p.m. please welcome ginnifer goodwin. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: how are you? >> i'm good, how are you? >> jimmy: what's going on between you and my parents? >> i just got the loveliest letter from your mother.
i have to say i hung out with jim jimmy's parents throughout the weekend. we had refreshing interesting pegueses. . did you talk about my dad's foot operation? did he tell you about that? >> no, he told me about your brother. >> jimmy: very impressive. he talked about the wait must b the water in your house. so you had fun with my parents? >> i had fun. i asked them to come hang out with me tonight at your work place back stage and have champaign with me and then it occurred with me that i ask you first how you felt your parents -- >> jimmy: they were here last night and will be here again tomorrow night. tonight they had to pick my aunt and uncle up. >> i don't know, i think we had something. >> jimmy: that's why it's best you didn't come.
they would have followed you home. your parks would start getting jealous. >> my father texted me that you made the emmys for him. >> jimmy: you don't care? >> really. >> jimmy: we'll have a parent exchange program. >> sounds like a reality show. >> jimmy: does sound like an abc reality show. this show "once upon a time" is such a clever idea. i watched the first episode of this season today. it's very good and i love how they -- for those who haven't seen the show, i'm explain it as if you don't know. you're snow white. everybody calls you snow. people don't say betty white, they say betty. >> i call her betty white. >> jimmy: yet you find these different characters from fairy tales, you find out one is
rumble stitskin. >> jimmy: one problem i have is the dwarfs are not actually drau dwarfs. >> i like that. though. >> jimmy: i'm pro dwarf. >> they're not tall fellows. >> jimmy: i imagine the dwarf community is upset with this. you took seven jobs away from them. >> i guess they did. is there a union for short actors? >> no, there's not a special union for sport actors there's an nba union that's opposite of that. it's something to think about in the future.
>> i will pass along your concerns. >> jimmy: you're a huge disney fan. >> i'm like a disneyphile, if that's a word. >> jimmy: you go there a lot. >> i think i've been there six times in the past four months. >> jimmy: it's not like you're bringing your 3-year-old to the park, you're going to the park. >> you ai am the 3 yearly. >> jimmy: so snow white has to be the best for you. >> i always wanted to be a disney princess. going to the park, i think people think i'm there in my professional capacity. >> jimmy: a professional ca capaci capacity? >> no, i like to ride space mountain and i like haunted
mansion especially at night. >> jimmy: i don't like roller coasters i'm a involvemevomiter >> i can't do ones that drop like tower of terror. i would say i have a sense of humor of an 11-year-old boy. but i have the constitution of a 91-year-old man. i can take the peter pan ride. space mountain i can ride. >> jimmy: tea kepcups are bad. . i like pirates of the caribbean. >> is itcaribbean. >> i always say caribbean. why don't we phone a friend and find out what it is. >> jimmy: you're a member of the secret club at disneyland. >> i am.
it's called club 33. i read how no one is supposed to know what happens in club 33. i'm terrified they'll ask me to leave. >> jimmy: what happens in club 33? >> here's what happened? it's walt disney -- i think he hung the moon. it's walt disney's private dinner club and only place you can drink on disney property. i should take your parents. >> jimmy: that's great. we'll get a report from them. >> they'll tell you all about it. >> jimmy: it's hard to get in this club? >> it is. they were closed -- they've been closed for 30 years. not the club but membership. i want to say the wait list is closed for 15. when i was offered once upon a time, my lawyer called and said he was talking about money and trailers. and i'm like, no, no, no.
can i eat dinner at club 33. they were like, no. >> jimmy: >> because you have to be a member. it's not fair if you can be a member and just negotiate it. it's not fair. everybody waited a lifetime to get in. >> jimmy: to hell with them, you're snow white. >> and i kept doing various jobs for disney. they're like. can i eat dinner at club 33. they're like, so sorry. i was actually reading the newspaper in may and they had, just, i think that day opened up their waiting list. i called everyone i knew and said -- i wasn't even, by the way, trying to get in for free. i called everyone i knew. >> jimmy: this is great for my parents. >> exact limit. >> jimmy: it's great to see you. i think you really dodged a bullet. you've dodged two bullets tonight. the show is called "once upon a
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better phone, better internet. [ male announcer ] it's time to get more for your money. upgrade to verizon fios internet, tv and phone with our best price online: just $84.99 a mth, guaranteed for one year with no annual contract. intnet is absolutely imperative for schoolol nowads. look up this, write an essay on that. my life is greatly improved because of fios. [ male announcer ] don't wait! switch to fios for a super-low $84.99 a month for a year with no annual contract. visit verizon.com/superoffer. conta the verizon center for customers with disabilities at 800-974-6006 t/v. welcome to life on fios. >> jimmy: introducing, "in our heads".
here with the song "how do you do" -- hot chip. ♪ ♪ when you wake me in the morning that is my favorite thing ♪ ♪ the party is so warming as a strikes a chord upon my skin ♪ ♪ now you sing in the evening with the voice that's bouncing like a spring ♪ ♪ a heart is not for breaking it's for beating out all the life it needs to begin ♪ ♪ it's for beating out all the life it needs to begin ♪ ♪ how do you do it you make me want to
that thing you do that thing you do you make me want to live again ♪ ♪ have we taken all we're good for have we registered our love in vain ♪ ♪ a church is not for praying it's for celebrating the life that bleeds through the pain ♪ ♪ it's for celebrating the life that bleeds through the pain ♪ ♪ it's for celebrating the life that shines through your veins ♪ ♪ it's for celebrating the life that shines through your veins ♪ ♪ it's for celebrating the life that bleeds through the pain ♪ ♪ how do you do it you make me want to live again ♪ ♪ how do you do it that thing you do that thing you do that thing you do ♪ ♪ you make me want to live again ♪